Dynamics Of Domestic Abuse And Violence (DAV)

Definition:

Abuse: Any Action or Behaviour done with the Intention to cause harm, pain, create fear, control and generally dehumanise the other person in an intimate relationship

Violence: Behaviour involving physical force intended to hurt, damage or kill someone or something

Violence = Violate       

 Fail to Respect: Peace; Privacy; Rights. Treats something Sacred with Irreverence or Disrespect (Related especially to Sexual Rape) To Intrude unsolicited; especially in case of Rape, sexual or otherwise – Demand for Service; Deprivation of entitlement; oppressive behaviours that dehumanises; holding back freedom; privileges and rights.

Some facts about abuse:

• Abuse is pervasive; wide-spread; & common place
• Occurs in different shapes and forms
• Varying degrees of intensity; extreme case being death by physical force or arms/weapons
• Clandestine; Unknown; Hidden; & often Unacknowledged
• Humans Are Sacred; Sexual Relationship Is Sacred.

  Violence = Violates = Intruded unsolicited; especially in case of Rape, sexual or otherwise – Demand for Service; Deprivation of entitlement; oppressive behaviours that dehumanizes; holding back freedom; privileges and rights.

  Its all about Power and Control; to harm; cause Fear; Humiliate and Subjugate/Oppress. DAV, if left unchecked becomes a privilege and habit difficult to uproot.

 Types of Abuse & Violence:

• Physical
• Verbal
• Non-Verbal (Silent Treatment; Avoidance)
• Sexual -includes using sex to allure/seduce; gain advantage; withholding; and hurting (Bondage)
• Emotional/Psychological/Mental
• Financial/Economical
• Spiritual/Religious
• Isolation and Restriction
• Entitlement/Privilege
• Use of Children/Child Abuse

 Abuse/Violence is Traumatic; long-lasting and repeats and perpetuates itself. It creates a concentric Cycle (Cycle of Abuse) in which some can be stuck for life.

Why Do We Commit Abuse And Violence?

Primary Cause: Choice is Core; Underlying reason, Influenced by:

• Beliefs and Values
• Thinking Process
• Socialisation
• Expectation
• Benefits

Secondary: Personality challenges/defects:

Anger; Provocation; Feelings; Disrespect; Interpretation; Expectation; Silence/Enabling;

No reason Justifies DAV. Take Responsibility; Work on Change; Learn Coping Skills

Impact: The Real challenge with DAV is its Impact; which can be Long-lasting and manifest in different forms.

We cannot adequately quantify the damage of our DAV actions on others; especially our children and wards

DAV is a major cause of depression. Statistics say 25% of every population suffer from  varying degrees of depression; ultimately ending in Insanity or Suicide

• Negative
• Dangerous
• Destructive
• Inhuman
• Sinful/Evil

Concluding Remarks:

• Abuse is a Behaviour and involves Choice
• Abuse is Wrong, Dangerous and Destructive.
• It does not add value to lives and relationships
• No one deserves to be Abused
• Abusive Actions are not Necessary for correction, making our points and   meeting our needs
• It is not a right or privilege to be abusive in a domestic/intimate relationship
• You could be a Victim and also a Perpetrator
• It is not dignifying to be and remain a Perpetrator!
• Abuse/Violence is Traumatic; long-lasting and repeats and perpetuates itself.

Thank you for your attendance and participation; and we trust that you have benefitted from your attendance. Domestic Abuse and Violence is a Monster and Very Destructive. We must not allow it to continue to devastate our lives and relationships. Pass what you have learned on to someone. Register for a more comprehensive  Three-Day course; Go to the website: www.helpmastersconsulting.org at events and Register Today.